With Earth’s fatal fate just 13 days away, Craig and Eliza work tirelessly to solve their unanswered impossible love prayer, and God commands to blow up Bill Maher’s penis. Here is a recap of episode 2, “13 Days”. (Spoilers included!)
“Did you just drop the K-bomb?”
God, again in his office flipping through the news, cannot seem to get over the massive disrespect from the prominently known atheist, Bill Maher. He insists that Sanjay is the right guy to clear this problem and suggests that he should, in fact, kill Bill Maher. Even after Sanjay reminds God that Bill Maher is expected to die along with everyone one else in the scheduled destruction of Earth, God simply cannot wait. Sanjay becomes smitten in his plan to create a heart attack or stroke after discovering Bill Maher’s build-up in his left ventricle. Unfortunately, God is not amused by this presentation and orders Sanjay to blow up his penis instead.
The Compatibility Test
Yahtzee! Soon-to-be-scheduled lovebirds, Laura (Sasha Compere) and Sam (Jon Bass), scored a whopping 98% on their compatibility test! They also live near each other, share the same pollen allergy, love gyros, and pretend they are texting on their phones when riding in elevators to avoid small talk. Feeling like they got it in-the-bag, Eliza and Craig begin to strategize. Craig comes up with a brilliant plan of bringing the humans together by sending them a sign, or in other words, “subtle clues to gently influence their actions.” However, clashing ideas for a sign occur. Craig, not wanting another typhoon incident, jeopardizes Eliza’s daring plan of inducing head trauma and a ruptured appendix to bring Sam and Laura together at a hospital, and he reasons that his more discrete plan of using pollen allergies will be to their advantage.
The Department of Genitals
Meanwhile, in the Department of Genitals, Sanjay orders to explode Bill Maher’s dick off. To his surprise, the staff takes pride in what they do, which is to ensure every boy gets to the magical stage of puberty. Confused yet obedient, they get down to work and try to carry out Sanjay’s request.
Gyro or Yiro?
Craig and Eliza make up and agree to come to equal ground. They decide to bring Laura and Sam together by way of gyros. By causing an increased rate of food spoilage in Sam’s fridge, taking out the satellite so that Laura can’t order delivery, along with using their pollen allergies to guide the way, the might of the plan was a success. (Craig may or may not have resorted to rupturing an appendix along the way.) Finally, the moment we have all been waiting for. Laura and Sam see each other and are about to seal their fate. However, it becomes very apparent that they lack complete chemistry. The awkward silence comes to an end when they finally ask each other for their phone numbers.
“This Isn’t the Department of Anuses. We Have Integrity.”
Sanjay sits in his glory getting his shoes shined while gloating about his fantastic delegation skills to God’s overqualified assistant, Rosie (played by Lolly Adefope). Rosie is disgusted with his narcissism and questions his high confidence when they are interrupted by God’s angry call for Sanjay. Sanjay sprints to see the television praising Bill Maher’s newest accessory below the belt as Bill is quoted, “God is as fake as my dick is huge”. God, furious and insulted at this quite large and nonfatal development, demands Sanjay to carry out the initial order. When Sanjay demands to know what happened from the Department of Genitals, the staff explain that pumping his genital glands with more hormones made his penis reach a level of beauty no one has seen before, and how it would be against their morals and integrity to destroy something so sensational. Accepting defeat, Sanjay takes the plunge to carry out Bill Maher’s fate himself. He soon finds out that blowing up a dick requires pumping the Pump-a-Tron machine 50,000 times.
“Who’s this Guy?”
Things are looking great for Earth until Laura, in mid-text to Sam to hang out, accidentally spills her coffee on some dashing stranger that spins into instant attraction. Their lovie-dovie eyes lock like Lady and the Tramp, leaving Craig and Eliza to fear the worst. Stay tuned for tonight’s episode airing on TBS at 10:30 EST to see how Craig and Eliza jump this hurdle!
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